A few nut guys, who call themselves by noble names as “a driver”, “a guide”, “an organizator” etc., just took us to a sleeping bus where we will spend next 18 to 30 hours. The duration time is unclear as every passenger got a different piece of information. But we can be sure it will take longer than it could. Vietnam. Or Asia, rather. The transportation continues bringing most fun, although sometimes the smile is getting a bit stiff. We are departing for Laos, however, we don’t expect anything to change.

I will sketch the journey to here, THE BUS STATION, so you can have a better idea what I mean. We booked the tickets through a tour agency. We tried to buy them directly and cheaper at the bus station but there was no better offer, most probably we even haven’t found the right bus station. (Every city has at least 3, which makes it very… easy.) In the end we paid only about 1 euro extra per person, which was not too bad. The minibus, picking us up at the tour agency, was only 20 minutes late, also success! And we found it, despite the fact that a guy who was supposed to lead us to it, disappeared on his motorbike instantly. After half an hour we arrived to the bus station. The driver made sure he asked everybody if they were heading to Luang Prabang or Vientiane, only to ask three times more later and still not to notice that one girl was walking towards a wrong bus. We also discovered that the driver, as well as any of the other guys (it is like 5 of them) cannot speak any other understandable word than “Lanpraban”, “Vienchan” and “driver”. The last word he used when a German guy wanted to know why he should give him his passport. “Driver,” said the driver, and shook a tag hanging on his neck as a proof that the guy could trust him. Fortunately, we really got the passports back after our tickets were issued. The rest of our “guides” are not able to say even that “driver” – why would they, they only earn their living taking foreign tourists on international bus rides. After this, about 15 minutes long episode when we were sitting and standing backpacklessly and waiting for the tickets, the guys started shouting LET’S GO! and HURRY UP! to move us to the final bus. This is a perfect way so you forget something important on the place where you have been waiting. I nearly left my camera in Cat Ba town like this. (Well, nearly. I did leave it there, but fortunately, we were waiting for something/someone for 10 minutes only 100 meters from our hotel, so I had the opportunity to realize my mistake and sprint back for it.) Now we boarded the actual bus while the guys made everything in their power to ensure that no couple or two friends would be sitting/lying next to each other. We all successfully managed to ignore them. Then all guys disappeared, no idea where to, for 15 minutes. We found out that our bus does not have a toilet as promised so half of the passengers went out to sort their trouble. (One lady asked for the toilet already after we got out of the minibus, she was told “wait here” and that was it.) The rest of us were to ensure that the bus will not leave without them as the guys don’t worry about counting their customers, nor reacting to anybody shouting that someone is missing. That was how I nearly ended up standing on the empty street in Dong Hoi after I had dared to go to the toilet before the departure. Now everything miraculously worked out and we are on the road. Let’s see why they didn’t let us occupy any of the bunk beds in the front half of the bus, how it will go at the borders and if we arrive to Vientiane at least till the end of the week. However, the driver proved himself to be a true professional; he honks a lot.

It would be nice if another aspect changed at least (which is perhaps very unlikely); how enduringly, persistently, assertively and often people try to rip you off. It slowly becomes a bit annoying, one could even say it has the power to properly piss you off. No kidding. Especially if you are the lucky one to encounter more of it at once. We had plenty today. Perhaps Vietnam also agrees it is time to leave. Buying fruit is the worst thing. One lady tried to sell me a bunch of grapes and an apple for about 4 euros. I just looked at her with disgusted face, asked her if she was crazy, returned the fruit to her and without any attempt to bargain walked away. Bargaining is a tough job here, anyway. The Arabic style of “500 contra 5 and let’s meet at 150” doesn’t work. If you suggest too (in their eyes) low price, most sellers seem to be offended, stop talking to you and quit doing business with you. At the same time, it is very likely that your impolitely low price was more than any of the locals would ever pay. Maybe it is also connected to the communication barriers – you simply cannot chat about why the price is too high/low.

Cat Ba was awesome. We finally figured out how to do things – our way and independently and not in too expensive way. The island is in the Tonkin Bay, where also the famous Halong Bay is located. That area is quite expensive and the only fun provide (expensive) organised tours, while staying on the island is cheap, offers hiking in a jungle, caves and kayaking in Lan Ha Bay, a smaller, calmer and cosier brother of Halong. Naturally, you get a guide offered for every activity, including the great Vietnamese organization skills, but it is easy to avoid it. We enjoyed a nice hike across the national park and saw plenty of colorful butterflies (they are difficult to photograph, we learnt), a chameleon, medium sized crabs, centipedes, spiders and frogs and heard some birds and probably also those protected langurs. The track finishes in a port where we arranged with minimum effort a private boat just for us through the Lan Ha Bay. It cost us about 15 euros which is like onethousandfivehundredeightytwo times cheaper than the cheapest tour there is and it is way better because you don’t need to follow the schedule, suffer the stops on various uninteresting places so the guys can get the commission for bringing you etc. Evening after this trip, we again met the 4 Czech guys that we cought up with in Nha Trang and the next day we went kayaking together – vodka and juice, beaches, shells, waves, rocks, dislocated shoulders – the best trip you can wish for. After that, we were all a bit decimated, so me and Mr. Black rented a motorbike (OK, a scooter) and criss-crossed the island. A BIG MISTAKE we did it for the first time! Motorbikes are great, we will do them all the time from now on.

A hippo skin developed between the first and second toe on both my feet so I will be able to wear flip-flops everyday till the end of my life. We expect 42 degrees in Luang Prabang, real feel 45. And storms. Looking forward to see and touch the elephants. We heard that after riding them, we will have an ass ache for 2 weeks.